Over to Mandy ...

So how hard can it be to find a car?  Obviously good as gold but as cheap as chips does narrow it down everso slightly...   Funky, within 5 miles post code, taxed and MOT`d apparently puts it into the completely non existant department.

Thus far, as you will be aware, we have purchased two without actually taking ownership of either. 

The mission has entailed mainlining every internet site known to vend vehicles virtually to the outer limits of my internet allowance. 

I have trawled, gazed, drooled, guffawed and fallen asleep at silly hour in the morning at the screeen of my laptop in the increasingly desperate endeavour to find "The One".

You would not believe what is/isn`t out there.....or maybe you would.  I have been amazed at how cheap, how expensive, how ridiculously named cars are and the choice, oh the choice, it is a Libran nightmare of epic proportions.

I've considered classics from Triumph Herald to Humber Sceptre under the auspices of being old but of recognisable construction should a mid-way rebuild be required.

I spent time seduced by out-of-my-league Renault and Citroen and Audi as a mid-way rebuild wouldn`t be necessary since the the point of a bonnet catch is ..........?

I lusted after a BMW Drift.  A what?  Low, black and slinky and completely unfit for purpose was what it was in the picture - complete with a Clifford alarm.  Who was Clifford I wondered?   Presumably mad bad and dangerous to know!  Must remember to disable that if sucessfully purchased.

As the inability to choose began to overwhelm me I tried to maintain sanity by keeping to sole categories.  Colour ... purple, pink, neon green, fluorescent orange, but there are only a few of challenging hue.

Price, cheapest first, cheapest last, nearest first, recently listed, all in the end were hopeless.  The tantalisingly tawdry were, with relentless monotony, winking at me from  the Scottish Highlands, the Welsh Valleys or, one VW for added spice, Northern Ireland.

I tried sensible item specific,  Skoda Octavia ... nice but too few to maintain attention span,

I tried 'given names' like "Polly" the faithful family estate or "Dear old Donald" a wonderful Landy 101.

So there you have it, the search is still on, though I have now cast my net closer to hand asking anyone I meet if they know of a mechanically sound tatty bodied brightly coloured diesel estate with a tow bar, of champagne taste for a lemonade pocket.

That said I`m looking at an Astra van first thing tomorrow.